The scientific theories that guide Soetlief’s journey.

I still remember one of the first things I was told on my parenting adventure – your child is unique, so take all the advice with a pinch of salt. Parenting advice is always subjective. Except when it includes safety hazards and a proven way to catch a nap with a toddler in the house – those are to be taken as scientifically proven fact until you’ve tested them in your environment. If they don’t work, they can become questionable opinions again.

What makes Soelief’s approach fall in with the nap department is our scientific foundation. While we’ve read enough books on childcare and education to have forgotten what a good plotline looks like, the two most important influences on our programmes are Jean Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development and the idea of heuristics (read on – it’s a lot simpler than the word makes it seem).

Following directions

Soetlief’s three programmes (TOTS, TROOPS and TWEENS) are designed in accordance with Jean Piaget’s studies, trusted (and tested) through the years in helping us understand what our kids should be able to do at their age. As parents, we’ve all lost sleep over whether our children are developing as they should – who of us wasn’t worried over tummy-time, crawling, putting sentences together or our toddlers pulling up their pants? What? No one else had a daughter who went Hulk when she couldn’t pull up her own pants? Well, let’s just say I didn’t like her when she was angry (and I doubt Piaget with all his guidelines would’ve like her either).

It’s Piaget who put that worry in us. How dare he, right? But he’s also the person whose theories help us to stimulate our children accordingly when they can achieve so much more than we often think they can. When my daughter figured out how to pull off her t-shirt at 2, from just watching me, I ROFL’d. Literally. Rolling on the floor. But Piaget tells us that it’s normal. Our kids are capable of these feats. His guidelines are there to encourage, not restrain.

Our lessons and activities help your child work with the emotions and circumstances they will face at a specific age. We rely on stimulating both their imagination and intuition when it comes to dealing with the world. All the activities are designed to build on a steady foundation, working towards more complex, abstract concepts as they grow older and work through the lessons.

Going off-road

The problem is that children often do not see the behaviour that is expected from them in others. Now, I’m not saying that parents should be in bed by 8, but parents often forget that children rely on what they see, not what they’ve been taught when making decisions. When my daughter wants to stay longer at the beach, she doesn’t do an Oliver Twist and say, “Please, Daddy, can I stay a while longer.” Nu-uh. She goes full Hulk when we don’t do what she says. “I want to play. NOW!” Why? Because when she doesn’t want to pick up her toys, we, her humble parents who also make mistakes, often rely on the Mom/Dad-voice “Now” to get her into action. That’s heuristics – copying the visual clue that comes to mind first.

Children rely on visual clues, an external reference of previous behaviour, to help them through the moments when brain fog settles in and their emotions overtake their logical thought process. This is why Soetlief’s lessons and practical examples take such a visual and interactive form – to become part of your child’s visual clues. This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though. Soetlief is about family. We want our Soetlief parents to grow with their children. It may be time to evaluate your own heuristic techniques as well.

The study of this “what comes to mind first” approach to problem-solving was developed by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky in the 70s and 80s and has recently been researched extensively by the Max Planck Institute for Biological Cybernetics in Germany. You know, just in case you need some reading material on sleepless nights.

You won’t get lost on the Soetlief journey – we keep the map and directions close by.